738 Days

Here’s what I tell myself

738 Days

In pure Hell on Earth

We have brought them back home

I understand

Why we say

Always remember

(Never forget)

Never go quiet

When we’re silenced

They try and take up the space

Where our words and deeds

can sew peace

And love

And praise family

And G-d

And country

And togetherness

Pray and stay faithful

Keep your heart open

To Divine words

Put forth G-d’s word

Into Divine actions

Keep your head down

Delete social media

Focus on purification

Of mind, body, soul

Everything you do

Has an energy attached

Everything you haven’t forgiven

Or repented for

Harbors and manifests in the body

The body keeps the score

I tell myself

When I owe forgiveness

But I want to begrudgingly hold on

Because, well, they own me an apology!

Or what they did was morally wrong

Or inappropriate

Or offensive

Or horrific

Or XYZ

And be quick to repent

And quick to ask forgiveness

Forgiveness

It’s something I’m working on

Constantly

Taking stock

Meditating on my heart

And how much space it can hold

For peace and love

And kindness

And truth

Asking Holy Spirit

To occupy me

And fill the bits and pieces

Of the fabric of my family’s life

I am proud to be an American

But this does not mean antisemitism does not exist here

It does

And we hang a mezuzah on our front door post

On a very busy street

And while I worry

One day I’ll wake up

And have a mark on my door

Or worse

Something placed under my car

Or something absolutely horrifying

I believe in these two things even more than my fear:

• I come from a long line of ARMY family. The men and women in my family have sacrificed much and put their lives on the line for our freedom, which includes the freedom to practice our faith safely. If I silence our faith, I minimize the ultimate sacrifice. I am a proud American. We are so lucky to live in this country.

• G-ds love occupies me. This is an energy. Only light can drive out darkness. ❤️✡️

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim.” -Elie Weisel