A KY facial

No idea

What’s in this stuff

But it’s 99% juicy moisture inside

And (for all sky types)

Which is a great thing

Because it rained today

That Scottish dewy must

(And it was lovely!)

And then the sun

Burst through the sky

(And it was lovely!

So I went for a walk)

And then lightening bolts

And dark skies rolled in

(And it was lovely!

I love being tucked inside my home

When it storms).

So I decided

Let’s bust out the face jelly

Or Apple quench jelly

The spa gifted me

(Because they cancelled on me twice)

What’s the worst that could happen?

Except for looking

Like I’m straight out of the scene

In Emily in Paris

Where they end up creating

A “glass facial”

To sell off vaginal lubricant

For exorbitant prices.

Given the spelling errors

On the packaging

(Hey, join the club!)

I think

I’ve just rubbed

A little bit of KY jelly

All over my face

Before I really considered it

I thought

Heck

Let’s just go

Balls out

So I rubbed some more

On the pursed skin on top of my lips

And hey

Little more couldn’t hurt!

Round and round the eye we go

When I’ll stop I’ll never know.

As I write this

My skin is still lubricated

I’m not sure

If I should lay on my nice pillowcase

And fall asleep

Or uh….

Do whatever you do

With vaginal lubricant

When you’re done using it.