I got to hang out with my mom today
she came over this afternoon
and brought me lunch
without asking
“Do you want lunch?”
or
“What’s your order?”
…
My mom made green chicken chilli soup
for my brother’s bday party request
to have a chilli cook-off—
something easy, no stress, they both said.
Oh dear, with only one day to prepare?!
I rummaged through
my trusty NYT Cooking app
to find a recipe
that was easy enough
to make
with a baby at home
and piles of laundry left undone
and chocolate chip pecan birthday cookies to make—
(I made this no fail chocolate chip banana bread loaf —and added chopped pecans—instead and it’s a rocket ship to the moon paired with earl grey tea)—
because I think
homemade anything
requires lots of thought
and preparation
you so infrequently experience
these days.
But some days
like this day
you when your piles
are piled atop piles
you accept that your husband
walked to the farmer’s market
and bought chilli
from the Amish
and suggest
we repack it
into a dish we own
and serve it.
We lost the contest.
(It was probably karma!)
We came in last.
But my mom, she won!
Her “No stress, keep it simple,”
chilli cook-off recipe
which required eight hours
of slow cooking
four different types
of pork
(Sorry, Matt, again with the over-“porking”!!)
was—
if I ever thought chilli was really astounding
and not a mediocre bean and meat soup—
a pot
not only full of beans
and four types of pork
but also
full of thought
and eight hours of cooking
and checking
and hoping
that all four types of meat
fall “off the bone”
and melt in your mouth
or else
she’d need a Hail Mary pass
recipe for chilli—
which you now know
that I think is a mediocre soup—
which she had no time for
so she kept checking
the meat
Is it tender yet?
for hours
the entire day.
I think about my hours
and how I spend my days
in the context of my life.
I think my Mom does, too.
…
I keep learning
everyday
how big a mother’s heart
can be.
In her “keep it simple, no stress”
ways
of outdoing herself
and outpacing me
and thinking—
actually thinking about others!!!—
“How can I make this person feel loved?”
she shows me
my heart
is like an accordion file
she likes to say.
There’s always room for it to grow.
I’m still learning.
and I’m so lucky
I have days
like today
where she can still
show me her ways.
…
Ten days later
We return home
from the land of sunshine
and my mother
has this
warming in my stove:
plus groceries in the fridge
for school tomorrow
which I knew I should have ordered
before I fell asleep last night
but could barely keep
my eyelids open.
Verklempt.
I could be born into riches
or rags
or somewhere in between
and at some point
you realize
that love
doesn’t cost a thing.