Process Not Perfection
Hello, from bedtime!
Clocking in
at 9 PM
I want to tell you
how I cried five times today
reading a short story
my great grandma wrote
(I’ll share more soon).
I want to tell you
about the stress
that crept up today
when I couldn’t put the baby down
and had to cook every meal
with her on my hip
(or else!!!).
I want to share the two recipe
adaptations I’ve made
from these two yummy recipes:
Ground Turkey, Shiitake and Cashew Lettuce Wraps
But for now
I’ll leave notes
so I can come back later
and share recipes
on how I adapted:
Corn pasta notes: (For kid-friendly mac ‘n cheese vibes) Saute corn and scallion whites in olive oil. Blend. Stir into noodles. Add parm to taste (which means a lot in our house). Bing bong done. (Do not add chunky corn bits or scallion toppings)
I believe in flavor profile being just as important as texture introduction for children. The green onions and corn give this pasta a summery twist. Mac n cheese but not so cheese heavy.
Ground turkey wrap notes: Use frozen mixed mushrooms. Swapped the sherry vinegar for ACV—no need to buy a new vinegar. I skipped white pepper (didn’t have any and didn’t need it). Did not get a kid to try it—both were melting down. Maybe tomorrow? Layer the taco like this: Two butter lettuce leaves on top of each other, vermicelli noodles( 100% whole wheat), and turkey topping. You can skip the noodles if you don’t want a starch.
I was thinking today, how no matter what, I always come back to writing and cooking. It’s never perfect. Something always goes awry. I murdered my vermicelli noodles tonight—don’t even ask how I butchered boiling noodles for several minutes but I did. Baby on hip. Two screaming kids. Husband in shower (during “thunderdome” time?!!??!?!?!). Two different meals going at once. Me thinking, I cannot eat leftovers again!!! I must cook the turkey lettuce wrap meal. I need new flavors like oyster sauce and tamari and mushrooms and crunchy cashew and celery. That’s exactly how it happened.
I can’t say I ate it all so mindfully, either. Oh my gosh, thinking back we didn’t even bless dinner. I ate at the table, I think, while Matt held squirmy squealing baby and Ollie quipped about wanting to play Uno during dinner and not after he finishes. Then I took the baby on my hip while I cleaned, and Matt ate standing up in the kitchen.
I think this is what people call a sh*t show. Some days, I have meal time on LOCK. I’m crushing it, everyone’s following suit, plan A is a go. And some days, it’s plan B, C, D, or just lots of praying. Always lots of praying.
Speaking of which, this prayer came to me today on my Bible app, and I thought I’d share it with you:
Allow God to encourage you as you talk to him and tell him what you need.
Today, I asked God for strength to believe in myself and my voice and personal opinions—and also to weather the big energy in our house when everyone’s tired, or hungry (hey, I can fix that!), or has a hang nail…
I also asked God for patience and persistence. I love showing up to my daily writing and cooking for my family. I asked him that I have the patience and persistence to continue to create and enjoy the process of creation…and completely separate the process from perfection—which has been so enjoyable for me.
Anyway, all this to say, creation, whether it’s food or writing, for me, isn’t about perfection. It’s about the process, and practicing every day. There is so much liberation in freeing myself from needing to be liked, and instead, creating just to create. Because I enjoy it. Because it’s what I want to do without being encouraged to do it.