Scared to Write on Mondays 😱
I never understood
the Monday scaries
until now.
(I guess I’ve always
felt like every day
is the same
as a mom.)
But as a writer
who takes the weekend off
Monday
is a new day
a fresh start!
they say
but I’ve never felt that way.
Monday is jumping off the cliff
with a blindfold
not knowing what’s below me.
Monday is just like
what I say to my son
when we travel somewhere new
or he goes to camp
without a friend
on the first day
and is scared
“You always say you’re scared
but how do you feel
at the end of the first day?”
The correct answer is
“great!”
but more often
than not
these days 🙄
he’s learned to say
terrible
or
miserable
which is also to say
he’s learning opportunity cost!
(Hey, Mom rocks!
Okay
It’a actually
little sister.)
Anyway,
the point I was trying to make
which I didn’t make
is that
jumping back into something
whether it’s new
or you took a short break
or a longer break
is…
kind of…
scary
nerve-racking
petrifying…
how does one
crush perfectionism
except for getting back (up)
and trying again
(on Monday).
Afraid to start
but look
How do I feel
at the end
of writing my first ditty
on Monday?
Ugh
nothing’s changed.
Wish I could say my world changed
or my emotional state improved
but I’m still
mentally chewing around my nail beds.
I’m learning
always
that success
however you measure it
(mine is commitment and consistency)
doesn’t happen
when you snap your fingers
or get up and out the door
on Monday.
It’s a commitment
to show up
everyday
no matter
how lame
or not
your Monday work might be.
All you have to do
(I’m talking to myself here)
is get started
and keep going.
Easter was great.
Passover was great.
Aside from Morgan
teething
miserable
earning the nickname
Screaming Eagle
we had many core memories
the best of which
was waking up at 4:45 AM
and waking up the kids and my mom
(Matt slept through it)
to go out on the balcony
in the dark of the morning
to listen
to bagpipes play
for thirty minutes
for the Easter service
on the beach.
It was
Divine.
