This is a Terrible Post
By today’s standards
(Or maybe not—
People of Walmart!!!)
You’d think I was celibate
In tights with underwear lines
All day.
Only after watching a video
I sent my gf
Of me “working out”
With the baby
Did I see
How offensive
Heinous
Brazen (?)
I’ve been
Even answering the door
Wearing these yoga leggings.
No wonder the guy today
Who came for his check
Asked
“Do you want me to follow you inside
Or should I stay near the door?”
And ran out
As soon as I handed him his money.
I made the mistake
Of scrolling through pictures
Of other moms
(THE MOST BRAINLESS
STUPID
WASTE OF LIFE
THING
ONE COULD EVER DO.)
With makeup
That highlighted nose ridges
And defined cheeks
And fancy outfits(!)
I messaged my husband
‘I’m so tired
I need to be punched in the face’
Which is code for
Bring me a black coffee
Or take this baby
So I can nap.
He arrived in minutes
Took the baby
I was topless
In bed
And asleep in thirty seconds
(I told you I was celibate!!!🤪)
Life has changed!!! Good night.
Had to add a divider
To mentally separate
My terrible post
From wishing you all a
Happy Passover!!!
Chag Pesach Sameach❤️
