Washing the windows

I decided two hours ago

That I would write you

One of three stories

-A rejection letter

-A story about a poor tip

-Or, about Morgan’s first bday being tomorrow

None of which I’ve selected for you

Because I decided

First!

I should go downstairs

And eat an apple with peanut butter

And while sitting at the counter

I realized

Ollie never cleaned up the cardboard

He karate chopped

In our back garden

So out I went

To tidy up the garden

And then I realized

Hey!

The Windex Outdoors is still attached to the hose!

I came seconds from undoing it

And putting it away

But the back of the house

Whispered to me

Groaned!!!

Choked out words through the pollen

Clean me!

So off I went

Washing my house

In my pajamas

(I had the decency to remove my socks

Before they got wet)

And there was a moment

I was expecting it to be

Poetic or something

Like washing the house!

It’s been a year!

Of round two motherhood!

Cleanse thy self!

But no

The dryer vent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Full of dusty fuzz!!!

I spotted it and

Ready aim fire!!!!!!

Windex hosed the crap out of it

It was so unclean

It made plopping noises

On the stone terrace

I thought to myself

If only every wife could have this satisfaction!

Better than popping Matt’s pimples

My house doesn’t run away from me

Or groan not nowwwww

It just sat there and delivered

Plop after plop

Way beyond my expectations.

---

Happy Birthday to Morgan! I’ll share more about her bday after next weekend when we celebrate. It’s cute, the theme is The Old Original Morgie Porgie’s Pudding Shop.

what else….

I do think there will be a day I write you about the poor tip…too good not to share. Hope I’m still excited about it in a couple days.

And I do hope I share the rejection letter story that I responded to “On what grounds?!?” 😂😂😂😂

I think there’s one last thing…

Oh yeh!

Matt got a haircut today and his hair cutter asked him “if you could meet five people that would make you fumble your words bc you were so nervous to meet them, who would it be?”

He said Michael Jordan, and blah blah blah, and blah blah blah. Basically all the posters on his wall in fifth grade.

He didn’t ask me but I volunteered my answer like a fifth grader at a girls’ sleepover:

Okay, if I met five people who would make me fumble my words if I met them, it would be….

-The Dixie Chicks (but they only count as one!!)

-Sara Bareilles

-Ernest Hemingway

“He’s dead Emily!”

-Henry David Thoreau

“Dead.”

And

-Jesus Christ!

“Also dead… “

Ish!!!!!!!!!!!!! Honey. Ishhhh.

There you have it just a glimpse inside my marriage and the Joseph house…..